I realized the other day that almost all of my posts are complaints about diabetes. The titles are negative, the posts are negative and all I do is write about how terrible T1D is. Really, it’s not all bad. Yes having diabetes sucks and I wouldn’t wish this disease on my worst enemy.  However, there are a lot of great things that have happened to me because of it.

For one thing, my dad and I are really close. Not just because we both have diabetes. We both love to read and we both love to run. We both make fun of all Tom Cruise movies because he is just awful. But we also understand exactly what highs and lows feel like. We know how scary diabetes can be and how frustrating proper diabetes management is. Now I’m not saying we wouldn’t be as close if one of us or both of us didn’t have diabetes, but we do share a bond because of it.

I have made so many friends who also share this disease. It’s almost like we are in our own (not so little) club. The moment I meet another T1D it’s an instant connection. I love talking to other people who’ve been where I’ve been before and are struggling with the same things I do. Starting my Diabetes meetup group was probably the best thing I could have done because I have met some amazing people and I have heard some amazing stories and I learn something new all the time.

Diabetes forces me to focus on healthy eating and consistent exercise. I definitely wouldn’t be as healthy as I am if I ate whatever I wanted- with or without exercise. It keeps me energetic and feeling good- plus lower a1c’s don’t hurt.

I’ve found that I truly appreciate the little things and I adore my family. I cherish every moment I spend with them because I know that had I been born 100 years ago- I probably would have been raised by a single, widowed mother, my brother wouldn’t have been born, and I probably wouldn’t have survived past my 7th birthday.

Don’t get me wrong, diabetes is still terrible and it’s a daily struggle. But at least it’s manageable and I know that I’m never alone.  T1D has helped me learn just how strong I am.

My suspicions were confirmed last week. My doc said my a1c went up to 9.1. She was optimistic though and knows I can get down to 7- so do I.

Now I’m focusing on being a better diabetic. I’m exercising and eating right and my goal of the month is to correct more. But something always happens that tests my strength.

I leave tomorrow for a business trip in Orlando. I’m excited and as prepared as I can be for my meetings. Haven’t packed yet, haven’t picked up my dry cleaning or done laundry. I decided to start the day with a light jog in Santa Monica with a couple friends. I got there early to pick up some stuff I needed for my trip and realized I forgot my wallet. No gas, no wallet and a huge list of stuff I need to do. I’m annoyed, but figure I can swing by my apt on my way to do everything I need to do and spend a little over an hour jogging/walking/talking and enjoying the morning.

On top of all this my laptop is broken- it won’t turn on even though it’s been charging for a couple days in preparation for my trip. Last night I got a letter from my wonderful insurance company saying that I haven’t paid for months and my policies are now cancelled. I had set up auto pay ages ago and just thought I was making my payments monthly- that was not the case.

After my work out I headed back to my car with one plan: get home, get my wallet, get gas, continue on with my busy day. Well the universe had different plans for me. My car ran out of gas. On the freeway. With no wallet. Or insurance.

Thankfully my wonderful, superhero husband works fairly close to where I was stranded and he was able to come with a gas can and a debit card and save me. As I waited for him I called my insurance company with my amazing, superhero dad conferenced in and was able to reinstate my auto and renters insurance.

Wanna make God laugh? Tell him your plans….

Happy New Year!!

I still have diabetes. But I wont let that get me down! My a1c isn’t 7. I didn’t actually think I would get down from 11.3 to 7 or below in a year when I started this blog, but I did get much further than I thought I would. Now 7 seems like a piece of cake.  Although eating a piece of cake probably wont help me get there any faster.

I can’t check my a1c again until February and I have a feeling it will be slightly higher than my last reading- 8.5 (those evil Holiday treats…). I know a tiny set back wont kill me. I also know that if my a1c went down almost 3 full numbers in 1 year, it can definitely go down 1.5 numbers in another year.

For 2015, my goal is to be active everyday. If that means a 5 mile run before work, awesome. If it means that I can only squeeze in 30 minutes on a stationary bike before jumping in the shower and rushing out the door, that’s fine too. Exercise gives me endorphins and endorphins make me happy, and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands….shameless Legally Blonde reference ;P.  Really though, exercise gives me energy and keeps my blood sugars fairly normal- so an active 2015 this is a no brainer.

I’m also trying to get into the habit of cooking fresh meals more often, but I know that if I give myself too many goals I’ll become completely overwhelmed. So instead of telling myself that I have to exercise everyday and cook meals from scratch 5 days a week AND remember to give myself corrections and meal boluses AANNDD commit to staying more organized, I’m going to focus on staying active. With one thing done everyday (or at the very least 4-5 days a week), than everything else sort of just falls into place as well.  If I go for a run, the last thing I’m going to want to do is ruin it by eating crappy food or forgetting to give myself insulin.

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I’m a perfectionist. I’ve actually always known that, but I didn’t realize how angry I’d get with myself when I messed up in some way.  I think that by trying to get into a more relaxed mindset I won’t hate myself for forgetting to do something or running out of time or choosing to relax instead of striving for perfection. The best advice I’ve ever heard is:

‘You’re only human’

It might sound obvious- yes I’m aware I’m human, but it also helps me recognize that every human messes up and NOBODY is perfect. We’re all just running around trying our best.

I’m also going to work on remembering to post to my blog more often 😉