May 26, 2014

My marathon

OK. It’s been over a week since I’ve even logged into my blog. I have literally been moving non-stop. While my days off are usually days for running errands, cleaning my apartment, DIY projects and relaxing on my comfy white couch, that’s not the case right now. Since I hardly ever get to see my mom and she’s only here for about a month, I’ve been trying to squeeze in as much mother-daughter time as I can. It’s going to be really sad when I’m back to sleeping in late, lounging around in my pajamas all morning and the most exciting thing about my day off is going to Trader Joes AND the post office. I’m officially an adult and I gotta say, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

I’m still working really hard to make the right food choices. Someone brought in a bag of Marshmallows at work (no idea why) but I am avoiding that thing like the plague. I know I can’t only eat one. I’m the kind of person who will eat one and then another and another and before I know it half the bag is empty and my blood sugar is HI and my stomach hurts. I think that in order to really stay on track with the food I eat, I’m going to record what I eat next week like I did a couple months ago. I haven’t really tried new recipes and I need to give myself a reason to do that.

In the past few months I’ve been trying out some food tricks. I tricked my brain into thinking I still eat candy. Every once in a while I would buy a huge bag of sweet tarts or Swedish fish and eat the whole thing in one or two sittings. So instead, I bought a few flavors of sugar free gum and now when I get a craving for something sweet, I chew on that instead. My sweet craving is gone and I don’t have to give myself any insulin for it! I’ve also been eating a scoop of whipped cream with a handful of blueberries or chopped strawberries for dessert while my husband eat dulce de leche pie or brownies. It’s still about 20 grams of carbs, but now I don’t feel like I have to skip dessert!

Even with my mom visiting, I’m still trying to carve out some tome to exercise. Ballet has been fun. My first class was just me, the instructor and another beginner. She was way better than I was, really focused the whole time and really helpful. They both said that I’m picking it up pretty quickly and they can tell I’ve danced before (even if it was 14 years before!). The good thing is that I’m already pretty athletic, since I love to run, so I was able to keep up. I felt pretty good about what I learned and even practiced at home. Friday was my second lesson. This time there were about 12 people. I was completely out of my league. All of these women have been going to the Friday class for a while and they all knew the combinations. I couldn’t remember where to put my arms and felt like an idiot when I looked at myself in the mirror (right now I tend to just stare at my feet) and saw them just hanging halfway between first and second position. Even though I paid close attention to the instructor, I had to watch the girl in front of me to actually do everything almost correctly. I’m also not even nearly as flexible as the rest of the beginner students- everyone can touch their palms to the floor, my fingertips barely graze it. I have a long way to go, but I’m having fun!

Still waiting for my transmitter. It officially died last week and I haven’t been able to use my sensor since. I have yet to find out when I should be getting a new one. So until then, I’m back to checking my blood before every meal and if I remember, an hour afterwards. It’s not fun, but it definitely helps me to appreciate all of the technology I have at my fingertips. I’m anxious to use my Dexcom again. I know it makes my appointments with Dr. Peters much easier.

In the meantime, I’m planning my first wedding anniversary with my wonderful husband. It’s really exciting and I cant believe we’ve already been married 10 months. This past year has gone by so quickly. I’d love to take a romantic getaway to an exotic island or Paris or Ireland, but right now we can only take time off for a few days together and Paris really isn’t within our budget. I’d love to visit Catalina Island or Monterey Bay or Ensenada, Mexico for a few days. Any of those places sounds fabulous!

May 16, 2014 Aside

Heat Wave

When I was living in Connecticut and Massachusetts and freezing my butt off in the snow, I vowed that I would move to Los Angeles the moment I could. By the time I was in high school I was already completely over the magic of the first snowfall. I loved white Christmas’s, but besides that, I’d rather it be 65 and sunny. Well I’ve been living here for a few years already and I can’t remember May ever being this hot. We had a hot Fall, basically no winter and it’s been 100 degrees all week. On top of that, the air conditioner in my car needs Freon, badly. I love to exercise outdoors, but the heat is so bad, I’m doing everything I can to stay indoors.

The gym in my apartment building is pretty lame. There are maybe three machines and one of them is always broken. The only time I usually work out in the gym is if I haven’t had time to go for a run or a bike ride so I do the elliptical or the stationary bike for 20 to 30 minutes. It smells weird, there’s no TV or anything to keep me distracted while I work out and it’s about the size of a large walk in closet. In this heat I’m still staying out of the gym, but I have been taking advantage of the pool, and I try to fit in 10 -20 laps every other day. I’ve also looked into adult ballet classes, something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I’ve tried yoga, I’ve tried zumba, I’ve tried meditation exercises, and besides running, dance is the only thing that truly calms my mind. I took ballet classes when I was a kid and I loved it. So on Sunday I’m going to try a local dance studio. I’m really excited.

In the meantime I’m in the middle of a DIY project. I found a cute little bookcase in Hollywood sometime last year and grabbed it with the intention of sprucing it up and selling it on my Etsy shop. For the past 8 or 9 months it has served as a nice home for my record player and a few of my records. It used to have a dark stain and a strange ledge on each of the shelves. So today I spent a couple hours taking off the ledges and sanding down all of the knicks and dings that have accumulated on it. I know that my arms are going to be sore tomorrow! Sanding is hard work!! My BS even went down from 176 to 90. So tonight, I will treat myself to some delicious two ingredient ice cream that I made the other night. I might even have 2 scoops!

May 14, 2014 Aside

It all comes back to food

Thankfully work has calmed down since my last post. I’m clocking about 40 hours a week again and I’m able to spend more time at home, but I’m also craving horrible, terrible, non-diabetic foods.

For the most part I’ve been able to keep my bread and candy cravings under control, but the other day I walked past the employee lounge and saw the most delicious looking loaves of bread I’d ever seen. I knew I should have just kept walking. I wasn’t even really hungry, but they smelled so good. So I grabbed one, sliced it in half and toasted it with some cheese. It was delicious, and I truly enjoyed every bite, but of course my BS spiked afterwards, stayed high through dinner. For the rest of the day I felt guilty and crappy.

The next day a co-worker brought in a giant tub of Jelly Beans. The old me would have been all over that, keeping a steady flow of jelly beans at my desk throughout the day. This time however, I restrained… a bit. I noticed my blood sugar was trending down and registering at about 107. I could have had a clementine, or a couple strawberries and been fine. In fact I keep a little insulated lunch bag at my desk filled with goodies in case my sugar does start dropping, but no, I grabbed a handful of Jelly beans and watched at my BS shot up.

The other night my husband and I decided to see a movie we’ve been wanting to see for a while, The Grand Budapest Hotel. It was fantastic. Very entertaining and we both really enjoyed it. What wasn’t fantastic though was how much popcorn I consumed. The last time we went to a movie I didn’t know how many carbs were in popcorn so I just didn’t give myself insulin for it. Stupid, I know, but this was also before I decided to take back control of my diabetes and work towards bringing down my a1c. At that point, I didn’t really care. This time I gave myself insulin for 30g of carbs and vowed to not overdo it. That went out the window when I realized I had consumed almost the entire Small popcorn all by myself. Not only that, but my insulin pump ran out of insulin during the middle of the movie. As soon as I got home I changed my pump, but the damage was done. For the rest of the night I was restless, got up to pee about 4 or 5 times and woke up feeling crappy…again.

So yesterday I decided to only eat healthy foods, count every single carb and learn from my small setback. Sean and I both had the day off so we slept in, made a delicious and healthy breakfast of scrambled eggs with green pepper and onion. We relaxed at the beach for a few hours, made chicken sandwiches and brought fruit and water. No candy for me. Dinner was one of my now favorite meals, grilled eggplant with provolone. We had a really great day off together. It felt like a mini vacation, and I feel wonderful.

May 9, 2014 Aside

I’m a 10!

I had my May doctors appointment this week and I feel fantastic! I figured that not having a sensor all month would reflect a higher a1c, but surprisingly I went from a 10.3 to a 10 despite not having sensors, getting food poisoning and working approximately 50 hours in 4 days last week.

I gotta say that this has been a very challenging month. I would have liked to have used my sensor (especially during one of the busiest tournaments at my work) but Dexcom made that impossible. I called them over a month ago to get more sensors with only 2 left (which lasts roughly 2 weeks). After calling once a week and finally getting one of their lovely territory managers involved I received a 3 month supply on Wednesday.

Being sick for a whole day when I was in Vegas really took it’s toll on me and it took a while to recover from that. So working as much as I did last week didn’t really help that. I found myself in a constant bad mood, always tired, and I just felt really crummy. Unfortunately I took out my frustration with Dexcom, work and my diabetes on the people closest to me. Mainly my wonderful, patient, sweet and loving husband. I work in the customer service industry and last week I just had no patience. It’s a good thing my supervisor gave me 2 days off back to back at the beginning of this week. I really needed the time to relax and just hit my reset button. I needed to get back to feeling like myself again.

When I went to my appointment on Monday, I was afraid to check my a1c. I said I would do it at my last appointment though, so I knew I just had to get it over with. I had lost a couple pounds since April (113 in April and 111 in May) so I just knew my a1c would be higher.

Dr. Peters and I were completely shocked when we saw that it went down to 10. It might not be as big a difference as it was the last time I checked it, but we are taking baby steps and making progress. She says I’m a very unusual patient and that she loves having me as a project. I love having a doctor who cares about lowering my a1c as much as I do.

My job for this next month is to eat more carbs. I need to eat about 30g per meal and 100g per day. I can eat more fruits and veggies (I don’t have to eat more refined carbs like bread and pasta- which is good because I always feel sick after I eat those foods) I just have to make sure to calculate for all carbs that I do eat. Now that I can use my sensor again I’m going to make sure to check it closely after I eat and adjust accordingly. Right now though, my main focus is spending time with my mom. I haven’t seen her in months and she lives so far away and she’s coming to visit for 6 weeks!! If I don’t post for a while it’s because my mom and I are going to be going on shopping sprees and getting our nails done!

May 5, 2014 Aside

Miles Away

It’s been too long since I enjoyed Los Angeles. I live here and work here, but I needed to get out and appreciate it’s beauty. Since I wasn’t able to hike or run in Vegas I was eager to get back into motion in LA. Luckily I had the next day off after I got back from my girls weekend so I slept in, ate a delicious breakfast of eggs, salsa, shredded cheese and avocado with Sean and got ready for an adventure to Temescal Canyon in Pacific Palisades.

I met up with a few friends at Pacific Palisades High School. My blood sugar was 237. With my glucose in hand I made my way up the Canyon. It was hot,and humid, but the hike up was breathtaking. I felt so great hiking up the Canyon. I made sure to stay at a conversation pace and chatted with my friends. Even though I was minutes away from Downtown Santa Monica it seemed like I was hundreds of miles outside of Los Angeles. The only thing that made me nervous about the hike, besides rattle snakes, was the fact that I did not have my CGM. I’m so used to just looking at my sensor and seeing where my blood sugar has been and where it is going. Not having access to this information that quickly is frustrating. I made sure that I hiked with my blood glucose monitor and checked my blood right before and right after my work out. I probably should have checked again once I reached the top, but I was way too distracted by the amazing views.

The hike down was obviously much easier than the hike up. It went by quickly because we were all chatting the entire way down. I loved breathing in the fresh air and surrounding myself with trees and sky and dirt. If I had time I would hike Temescal Canyon everyday. The rest of the week I knew I would be spending my entire day at work so I wanted to make sure I spent as much time outside as I could. Once I got to my car my blood sugar was 56. I ate a few glucose tablets, waited until my sugar started going up and went home.

It’s really easy to get wrapped up in the day-to-day routine of work and sleep, work and sleep, work and sleep. The days are getting longer so I’m staying at work later and finding less and less time to get outside and get moving.

Diabetes Doesn't Own me!

My Journey from 11.3 to 7

Month: May 2014