First weekend with my new pump went really well. I spent a good part of Saturday in the pool and checked my sensor at least once an hour. Sunday was tough. I never suffer from migraines, but I had the closest thing to one all day combined with a throbbing twinge in my neck. I ate well, tried to relax, went for a swim, watched t.v., drank water, drank coffee, took a bubble bath and a nap. Nothing worked, but at the same time, my blood sugar was very steady all day. Fortunately, after dinner and a backrub from my sweet husband, I started feeling better.

Then, the weirdest thing happened. I went to sleep with a blood sugar reading of 207 which I don’t mind because I find that my sugar goes down while I sleep. However, early this morning, my sensor started yelling at me and I woke up at 317. I assumed that my sensor was just way off but when I calibrated it was right on the money- finger stick was 318. I ate dinner around 6 the night before, went to sleep at 11, and had a small snack  about 45 min. before bed (no bake peanut butter balls— I use 1 tbsp. agave instead of brown sugar and add a handful of dark chocolate chips). They don’t usually bring my blood sugar up too high and I always give myself a bolus when I have one. The other weird thing is that I didn’t feel like my blood sugar was high at all. I never woke up to use the bathroom, didn’t run to the kitchen for a glass of water and didn’t have dry mouth when my alarm woke me up. I was convinced my sensor was just way off like it’s been before, but it wasn’t. I must have had a peanut butter ball loaded with dark chocolate chips in addition to experiencing the ‘Dawn Phenomenon’.

I did a little digging and found that there are a bunch of people who experience the Dawn Phenomenon. Between 4 and 8 am (which was exactly when my sensor started yelling at me) people with both type 1 and type 2 diabetes find that their blood sugars will spike. Sometimes it’s a lot, and sometimes it’s not very much at all. This happens because the body increases hormones like growth hormone, Cortisol, Catecholamines, Glucagon, and Adrenaline. That triggers the liver to release glucose to give the body energy to wake up. Although it took my sensor beeping at me and my alarm ringing in my ear to really get me awake.

I find that my blood sugar goes down more often than up while I’m sleeping, so I’m sure my high blood sugar had more to do with my snack. I was also due to change my pump and should have done it before bed, although I don’t like changing it and then going to sleep in case I have a site failure. Maybe I’ll skip the dark chocolate chips in my peanut butter balls next time!

It’s been 3 days with my new insulin pump/sensor combo and low GI diet, and I can honestly say, my blood sugar hasn’t gone over 230 once (baby steps). I know myself, and I know that just having a new gadget to learn and practice using is a big reason why my blood sugars are stabilized. But at the same time having everything in the same place, at my fingertips, and keeping all my supplies on hand make it way easy to keep me checking and calibrating and stable.

Exercise is even easier because I only have one medical device with me when I work out now. I also bought glucose tablets the other day, so I don’t have to worry about lows. Yesterday I spent all day at a theater near my house working as an extra for a movie coming out next year (I love Los Angeles!). I was pretty much standing and dancing for 8 hours with a few breaks in between. I came prepared. I had my cute diabetic bag with me the whole time, stayed hydrated and snacked throughout the day. Overall, I had an amazing day with some amazing friends and my diabetes didn’t get in the way of that at all.

Eating low GI foods has been easier, and more delicious, than I ever thought possible. Grilled fish or chicken with salad and veggies doesn’t change my blood sugar at all. No spikes, just chugs along. I feel better after eating low GI foods. I’m not stuffed right before I go to sleep. My stomach doesn’t hurt and I sleep peacefully all night long. I can’t describe how wonderful it is to not have to wake up 4 or 5 times during the night to pee, or get a drink and then try and fall back asleep again.

I see my endo in a week and a half. I’m going to try and keep up this momentum. I’m also going to meet with my doc’s nurse practitioner and see if she has any tips to staying on track. I’m afraid I’ll lose interest (which is a stupid this to say especially when it concerns my diabetes) but it happens far too often. Even in other aspects of my life, I’ll get organized and develop a great plan and follow it for a couple weeks. And then I’ll get lazy. I don’t want to get lazy. I can’t get lazy. I need to get to <7.

Step 1 towards <7 a1c:

Today is the first day with my new sensor. Applying it definitely didn’t hurt as much as it used to. I just remember how awkward it was and scared that I didn’t have it set at the right angle. Now, the inserter is much more user friendly, like a bigger version of the minimed insulin pump inserter. I know I’ll get used to it. For the first day, I carried my meter around with me so I can check the accuracy. I’m used to Dexcom’s readings being so precise and in the past, every time I calibrated my minimed sensor before, it was always at least 20 units off.

A couple things I’ve discovered, first, working out right after calibrating isn’t a good idea. My sensor read 170 and dropping right after my run and 150 after my shower (I probably should have checked the accuracy with my meter right after my workout- forgot), and when I checked it, my reading was actually 65. Frustrating, but I ate a snack and calibrated again. I figured my blood sugar was falling fast and my sensor couldn’t keep up. Then a few hours later, my sensor just fell off. It didn’t rip out or get caught on anything, it just unstuck from my site. I’m thinking the heat had something to do with it and the Nexcare bandage I used to keep it in place wasn’t completely centered. All learning experiences.

Step 2: Organize my diabetes bag. I’m ordering extra infusion set and reservoir inserters, but for now I’ll keep the ones I have on me at all times. I also included alcohol wipes, test strips, glucose tabs, lancets (15), syringes (2), insulin, a battery, my meter, a large nexcare bandage, extra infusion set and reservoir, an extra sensor and keytones strips. No excuses now.

Tomorrow I’m going grocery shopping 🙂

I realized the other day that almost all of my posts are complaints about diabetes. The titles are negative, the posts are negative and all I do is write about how terrible T1D is. Really, it’s not all bad. Yes having diabetes sucks and I wouldn’t wish this disease on my worst enemy.  However, there are a lot of great things that have happened to me because of it.

For one thing, my dad and I are really close. Not just because we both have diabetes. We both love to read and we both love to run. We both make fun of all Tom Cruise movies because he is just awful. But we also understand exactly what highs and lows feel like. We know how scary diabetes can be and how frustrating proper diabetes management is. Now I’m not saying we wouldn’t be as close if one of us or both of us didn’t have diabetes, but we do share a bond because of it.

I have made so many friends who also share this disease. It’s almost like we are in our own (not so little) club. The moment I meet another T1D it’s an instant connection. I love talking to other people who’ve been where I’ve been before and are struggling with the same things I do. Starting my Diabetes meetup group was probably the best thing I could have done because I have met some amazing people and I have heard some amazing stories and I learn something new all the time.

Diabetes forces me to focus on healthy eating and consistent exercise. I definitely wouldn’t be as healthy as I am if I ate whatever I wanted- with or without exercise. It keeps me energetic and feeling good- plus lower a1c’s don’t hurt.

I’ve found that I truly appreciate the little things and I adore my family. I cherish every moment I spend with them because I know that had I been born 100 years ago- I probably would have been raised by a single, widowed mother, my brother wouldn’t have been born, and I probably wouldn’t have survived past my 7th birthday.

Don’t get me wrong, diabetes is still terrible and it’s a daily struggle. But at least it’s manageable and I know that I’m never alone.  T1D has helped me learn just how strong I am.

My suspicions were confirmed last week. My doc said my a1c went up to 9.1. She was optimistic though and knows I can get down to 7- so do I.

Now I’m focusing on being a better diabetic. I’m exercising and eating right and my goal of the month is to correct more. But something always happens that tests my strength.

I leave tomorrow for a business trip in Orlando. I’m excited and as prepared as I can be for my meetings. Haven’t packed yet, haven’t picked up my dry cleaning or done laundry. I decided to start the day with a light jog in Santa Monica with a couple friends. I got there early to pick up some stuff I needed for my trip and realized I forgot my wallet. No gas, no wallet and a huge list of stuff I need to do. I’m annoyed, but figure I can swing by my apt on my way to do everything I need to do and spend a little over an hour jogging/walking/talking and enjoying the morning.

On top of all this my laptop is broken- it won’t turn on even though it’s been charging for a couple days in preparation for my trip. Last night I got a letter from my wonderful insurance company saying that I haven’t paid for months and my policies are now cancelled. I had set up auto pay ages ago and just thought I was making my payments monthly- that was not the case.

After my work out I headed back to my car with one plan: get home, get my wallet, get gas, continue on with my busy day. Well the universe had different plans for me. My car ran out of gas. On the freeway. With no wallet. Or insurance.

Thankfully my wonderful, superhero husband works fairly close to where I was stranded and he was able to come with a gas can and a debit card and save me. As I waited for him I called my insurance company with my amazing, superhero dad conferenced in and was able to reinstate my auto and renters insurance.

Wanna make God laugh? Tell him your plans….

Happy New Year!!

I still have diabetes. But I wont let that get me down! My a1c isn’t 7. I didn’t actually think I would get down from 11.3 to 7 or below in a year when I started this blog, but I did get much further than I thought I would. Now 7 seems like a piece of cake.  Although eating a piece of cake probably wont help me get there any faster.

I can’t check my a1c again until February and I have a feeling it will be slightly higher than my last reading- 8.5 (those evil Holiday treats…). I know a tiny set back wont kill me. I also know that if my a1c went down almost 3 full numbers in 1 year, it can definitely go down 1.5 numbers in another year.

For 2015, my goal is to be active everyday. If that means a 5 mile run before work, awesome. If it means that I can only squeeze in 30 minutes on a stationary bike before jumping in the shower and rushing out the door, that’s fine too. Exercise gives me endorphins and endorphins make me happy, and happy people just don’t shoot their husbands….shameless Legally Blonde reference ;P.  Really though, exercise gives me energy and keeps my blood sugars fairly normal- so an active 2015 this is a no brainer.

I’m also trying to get into the habit of cooking fresh meals more often, but I know that if I give myself too many goals I’ll become completely overwhelmed. So instead of telling myself that I have to exercise everyday and cook meals from scratch 5 days a week AND remember to give myself corrections and meal boluses AANNDD commit to staying more organized, I’m going to focus on staying active. With one thing done everyday (or at the very least 4-5 days a week), than everything else sort of just falls into place as well.  If I go for a run, the last thing I’m going to want to do is ruin it by eating crappy food or forgetting to give myself insulin.

One thing I’ve learned about myself is that I’m a perfectionist. I’ve actually always known that, but I didn’t realize how angry I’d get with myself when I messed up in some way.  I think that by trying to get into a more relaxed mindset I won’t hate myself for forgetting to do something or running out of time or choosing to relax instead of striving for perfection. The best advice I’ve ever heard is:

‘You’re only human’

It might sound obvious- yes I’m aware I’m human, but it also helps me recognize that every human messes up and NOBODY is perfect. We’re all just running around trying our best.

I’m also going to work on remembering to post to my blog more often 😉

A few months have gone by since I last wrote a post.  Unfortunately work has been insane and the Holidays have taken up the rest of my free time.  I haven’t gone running in weeks, however, I still squeeze in a quick elliptical or stationary bike session when I can. The good news is that I’m beginning to act more and more like a diabetic, according to my doc.  My A1C is the lowest it’s been in at least 4 years, 8.5!!! I was hoping to reach 7 by the end of the year, but I know that my goal isn’t that far off. I’ve been working really hard and doing everything I can to stay active, eat the right foods, check my blood, give corrections for highs and boluses for meals!

It’s really frustrating when you’re spending so much time and energy to maintain control and then something out of your control, like your pump breaking, throws it all off.  My blood sugars haven’t spiked (and then stayed high) as much as they used to.  Now instead of once a day or a few times a week, it’s a couple times a month.  I know exactly what I was doing or what I ate to make it go so high, before there were just too many HI’s to be able to do that.

Last week my pump ran out of insulin.  That’s never a big deal.  I still hate changing it, but it only takes a few minutes and then I’m back to doing whatever I was doing.  This time, right after my NO DELIVERY reading (meaning NO INSULIN), I got a MOTOR ERROR reading (meaning BROKEN PUMP).  This has happened to me before.  It sucks.  It used to happen all the time when I worked near a massive magnet that liked to destroy my pump. It means that I’m giving myself injections for the rest of the day and well into the next one, and waking up every couple hours during the night to make sure my blood sugar is OK.  It means I need to order a new insulin pump.

First thing I did was text my doctor.  I don’t know what my pump settings are and because I was right in the middle of refilling my reservoir, I couldn’t access them.  I also had no idea how much Lantus I needed as I’ve never used it before.  Back when I used injections to maintain my blood sugars, I used NPH as my long lasting insulin and that was about 12 years ago. I got a Lantus pen prescription that has been sitting in my fridge for a few months just waiting for something like this to happen.  The detachable needles scared me (I’ve had diabetes for over 20 years but I’m still a giant scaredy cat) so I used the pen as a vial of insulin and used one of my regular syringes to draw it out.  Then I mixed it with Humalog and called Minimed. Of course the first thing they did was try to troubleshoot my pump (it never works) and when we realized that it was completely cooked, we ordered a new one.  I made sure to eat a very low carb dinner and then I set my alarm throughout the night to wake me up so I could check my sensor.  I think that I handled the situation well besides the fact that my blood sugar read HI for about 2 hours.  Other than that spike, the only time my blood sugar got really high was after a 2 hour hike and even then it only went up to about 362 and slowly made it’s way down.

In general I’m thinking and acting more and more like a diabetic.  Now when I travel I think about how many supplies I need and then pack extra.  Long past are the days where I’d get somewhere only to realize I’m out of insulin (that happened when I went to Vegas about 5 years ago, we missed our flight, had to stay another day and I had about 10 units of insulin to last me until we got home).  I don’t drive unless I know what my blood sugar is, and usually it’s fine.  This year, for Thanksgiving, I didn’t have any dessert.  And not because I was depriving myself, but because I genuinely wasn’t hungry or craving anything sweet.  My next appointment is in 2 days.  Fortunately my doctor already knows about my MOTOR ERROR episode, but even if she didn’t she’s so pleased with how well I’m doing I don’t think she’d be too upset.

I had my monthly endo appointment yesterday and it was not good.  My numbers were not good.  I’ve been over 400 almost everyday for the last 3 weeks.  It’s so discouraging. I mean I knew my sugars were going to be a little high.  I’ve seen the readings on my sensor.  I just didn’t think they were going to be that bad, and I don’t think Dr. Peters thought they were going to be that bad either. The main issue is that when my sugars are high and I administer a correction bolus it doesn’t work the way it’s supposed to, especially if my Blood Sugar is over 400.  I need to not only correct, but check to make sure my correction is working one hour or two hours later.  If not I need to use the syringe I carry around with my and give myself a correction that way.

I’m still working hard to bring my a1c down despite what my numbers look like.  Work has been hectic to say the least and I hate using that as an excuse, but it’s totally valid.  My schedule’s all over the place, my meals are all over the place, I’m all over the place.  I need to take a step back and figure out why I’m apparently trying to sabotage my progress.  It’s almost like I had such a great appointment last month that subconsciously I started reverting back to my old habits.  Only I didn’t feel like I was reverting back to my old habits.  I’m still bolusing, I’m still correcting, just not as much as I need to. It’s almost like I’m in denial every time my Blood Sugar hits 300+.  I hate seeing those high numbers, I feel terrible and frustrated and like a complete failure when it doesn’t come down.

There are a few things I need to do to get back on track.  First I’d really like to talk to a therapist so that I can try and break through this mental barrier that’s preventing me from taking full control over my disease.  I’m making strides and almost there, but I still have a lot of work to do. I have no problem talking to someone.  I used to meet with a therapist once a month in high school and it really helped me. I also am vowing to make full meal plans every week for the next month.  If I know exactly what I’m eating I should know how many carbs to count for.  I’m going grocery shopping after work today with my list of recipes and my husband (he keeps me on track!). I’m also going to talk to my boss about working on a more structured schedule.  Not the same exact time everyday, obviously I need to be flexible, but if I can develop a routine that I think that will really help me.